What better topic would be more fitting to talk about on April Fools Day than Democrats? Why that would be the French! Why? Because the French are nothing but a bunch of arrogent, cheese eating, lazy, smelly surrender monkeys!
Lets face it, we have to hate and laugh at somebody, so why not point and laugh at these guys? Ok, I know this isn't the best argument in the world, but can you name one good thing France has done post-Revolutionary War? I truly believe that there is something written in the American genetics that cause us to make fun of the French. If you actually want examples as to why the French are such are joke, keep reading.
One thing that I find irritating about them is that they were useless in World War 2. The Germans marched into Paris, got comfortable, and got all the French wine their little kraut hearts could want. It wasn't until the U.S. Third Army came did the Germans feel threatened. But what do the French say now? They, the French, liberated Paris with some administrative help from the Americans. And don't believe what you hear when they say their family worked for the French resistance. If by this they mean that they gave the Germans a half glass of wine when the Germans wanted a full glass, then you can believe them. The French Underground (you know, the one that actually tried to stop the Germans) didn't become popular untill the Americans had liberated France, hence the French phrase "maquis d'apres-guerre," which of course means "resistance fighter, postwar." But if we ignore the WWII reasons for hating them, we still have a huge mountain of reasons still to them.
During the first 100 years of America's exsistance, the French kept bugging us, like the big brother that keeps poking his kid sibling because there is nothing he can do to stop him. There was the Quasi War that we had with them during the Adams administration (1796-1800). Quasi means Fake, so we were fighting a "Fake" War with them at this time. Coincidentally, that's the only type of war the French can win. During this Fake War the French would attack our merchant ship, force the sailors to serve in their Navy, and take anything on the ship as contraband. A few years later they were crying for our help in the War of 1812.
Ever since WWII, the United States has been better off then France, better economy, better military, better bathing habits- you name it, and we're better, and they know it. That's why they are so nasty to us, why anti-American books always are #1 best sellers over there. When the Secretary of the World's Biggest Joke, I mean French Defense, resigned in protest of the first Gulf War because America was liberating a country other than his own, he said that America is dedicated to "the organized cretinization(turning someone into a total idiot) of our people."
This guy is so wrong. We don't have to do a thing, you guys are already stupid.